June 2012
Late night ramblings.
Here’s a list of a few of the things that will most likely result in your death after me having killed you:
Tickling me
Jabbing me in the ribs
Zapping/electrocuting me
Threatening to pop a balloon near me, especially if you know how much I dislike those bastards
Constantly stepping on the heel of my shoe purposely
Always asking for favours and essentially just using me
Just being an...
May 2012
police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!
me: not with that attitude
Mom: What's the weather like?
Me: Slightly sarcastic with a good chance of A: Indifference and B: Disinte-
Mom: Stop.